The past few days was emotionally draining for me. I was really busy doing a lot things lately and my new job assignment as a Sales for Marine accounts is not only physically but also intellectually challenging. But what really struck me is not about my career, it's about my son Gaebrille Baevin (Botchog: his nickname comes from a Filipino word "busog" which means stomach is full) He's been very naughty, I heard from his nanny that his teacher is always complaining about his attitude. Many times I tried to talk to him and explain to him the difference between good & bad. That some actions can really hurt people and is not right. The maximum penalty that I gave him was to face the wall whenever he did something wrong. I tried so hard to refrain from hitting him because I knew its not the best way to discipline a child.Then my patience ended.........
Every Sunday morning they would dip in the pool beside the the condominium where we stay and I saw how he bullied one child. He is in the act of hitting the child in the stomach when I called his attention. Immediately I told him to get out of the pool. As soon we're inside the house I took my belt and hit him so hard on his butt it turned red. He was crying so loud I could feel it grinding my eardrums and when I was done I was so tired, my hands were numb, I felt my heart was crushed. He ran to his room crying until he fell to sleep. When I noticed his room was quiet I went inside, I could see as he lay down his hands at his back, his head under a pillow. I took a towel and rub it against his wet hair, I can't help but notice his beautiful angelic face with his eyes made swollen by crying........
Slowly I could feel tears running down my face. What have I done? I have I turned into a monster? How could I hurt a child? worse, with my own blood? That night I can't sleep the thoughts of hitting him hunted me....... I love my children so much I wouldn't let anything, even an insect near them but how could I let this happen?
Next day he woke me up and told me that he's sorry and he uttered "I love you dad" I embraced him comfortably tight and I said "I love you too"
1 comment:
Hi...
When I opened my personal blog to post my newest column... I visit other bloggers particular in Mandaluyong area (I'm from Mandaluyong also)I saw your blog and read all your post... one thing that make me interested is your kid...
Being a parent is one of the most fulfilling experiences a person can have. There is a natural instinct that seems to come to a new parent, but there are bits of advice that can help when you are challenged in the growing up years. The most important thing however, that any parent can give their child, is a sense of being loved.
Hope this tips will help a lot to you....
EXPRESS LOVE AND AFFECTION:
1. A gentle cuddle, a little encouragement, appreciation, approval or even a smile can go a long way to boost the confidence and well-being of your children. Sadly, many children seek this kind of acceptance from their peers (who are wholly unqualified).
2. Tell them you love them every day
3. Give lots of hugs and kisses
4. Love them unconditionally; don't force them to be who you think they should be in order to earn your love.
LISTEN TO THEM:
1. Express interest in your children and involve yourself in his and her activities.
2. Create an atmosphere in which they can come to you with a problem however large or small.
3. Talk to them at dinner times. Turn off the TV and listen closely. Share your experiences with them.
HELP THEM FEEL SAFE
1. Respect their privacy as you would want them to respect yours; for example, if you teach your child that your room is out of boundaries to them, respect the same with their room. Allow them to feel that once they enter their room they can know that no one will look through their drawers, or read their diary.
2. Instill in them, a sense of belonging by displaying individual and family portraits on the walls of the house.
3. Don't argue with your spouse in front of the children. If they are sleeping, argue quietly. Modern divorce rates have children feeling insecure and fearful when they hear parents bickering. In addition, children will learn to argue with each other the same way they hear their parents argue with each other. Show them that when people disagree, they can discuss their differences peacefully.
4. Avoid favoritism. Surveys have shown that most parents have favorites, but most children believe they are the favorite. If your children are quarrelling, don't choose sides.
5. Give up your vices: gambling, alcohol and drugs can jeopardize your child's financial security. Smoking almost always introduces health hazards to your child's environment. Second-hand smoke has been linked to several respiratory ailments in children. It could also contribute to the early death of a parent. Alcohol and drugs might also introduce health hazards or violence to your child's environment.
PROVIDE ORDER:
1. Set boundaries such as bedtimes and curfews, so they learn that they have limitations. By doing so, they actually get a sense of being loved and cared about by their parents. They might rebel at those boundaries, but inwardly enjoy knowing that concerned parents love them.
2. Encourage responsibility by insisting they clean their room and make their bed every morning. Even the youngest of children can learn to tidy their room and put their toys away in the box at the end of the day. As your child grows, give them more responsibility.
3. Teach them what is right and wrong. If you are religious, take them to the church, synagogue, or mosque of your denomination.
4. Don't routinely do things for your children that they can learn to do for themselves.
5. Model moderation and responsibility when it comes to drinking. Explain that they will have to wait until they are old enough to enjoy a drink with friends and talk about the importance of designated drivers. Failure to discuss these issues early sometimes contributes to sneaking and dangerous experimentation.
BE CONSISTENT:
1. Enforce rules that apply to every person leading a happy and productive life.
2. Enforce the same rules all the time, and resist your child's attempts to manipulate you into making exceptions.
3. Control your temper.
4. Communicate clearly. Children should be very familiar with the consequences of their actions. If you give them a punishment, be sure they understand the reason and the fault
5. Life is a great teacher. Don't be too quick to rescue your child from the results of their own actions if the consequences are not overly severe.
PRAISE YOUR CHILDREN:
1. Avoid comparing your children to others, especially siblings. Each child is individual and unique. Celebrate their differences and instill in each child the desire to pursue their interests and dreams.
2. Teach your children that it is okay for them to be different and they do not have to follow the crowd. Teach them right from wrong when then are young, and they will always be able to make their own decisions, instead of listening to others.
3. Remember that your child is not an extension of yourself. Your child is an individual under your care, not a chance for you to relive your life through them.
Good Luck...
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